THE NON-ANGELIC LIFE

. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! . With open heart and clear mind, I wrote and send the email earlier to the nursing assisted service company..to cancel the service (requested on 21 September 2020) for the months of November and December 2020. . Their management personnel had called me immediately to reconfirm my request to cancel the service..I responded,"YES. I am sorry. Kindly proceed with the cancellation..".. . Next I will try to terminate the rehab sessions..which she always complaining too exhausted after every session. Take it now. I am granting her wish..Soon she can join him being lost in their own worlds.. . After all matters are settled, I wish to RETIRED from being a caregiver..Indeed it is an extremely exhausting job..mentally exhausted and physically drained..It becomes more exhausted when everything done are NOT being appreciated...so, "Sayonara!".. . Time for me to return to the moments like I used to live..Live life at the fullest! Don't bother ...

. LAST WEEK.. . I saw a video online..Someone commenting about a Muslimah who added and tagged her on an online photo album where all the pictures are of that Muslimah's "FREE-HAIR" moments..whereas in public, the Muslimah still wearing headscarf or hijab. . Why is there a need to show others what happened to your hair online..in a specific photo album when you are still wearing hijab in public? For what purposes? . MY COMMENT AS EX-MUSLIM WHO WORE HIJAB . I cannot answer on behalf of that Muslimah..I can only assume that Muslimah forgets whatever uploaded online, stay online. All I can do here is to write down my past experience as an EX-Muslim who wore hijab in order to relate to what that Muslimah has done. . WHY DO MUSLIM WOMEN WEAR HIJAB? . 1. It is COMPULSORY for any Muslim women to wear hijab in Islamic rules. 2. Undeniably, some Muslim women wear hijab after been stressed and pressurised by other Muslims to cover up and wear hijab. So, so...

. 🤫🤫🤫..Be silent..Shhhhhhh..Stay quiet..It won't be long before all will be gone..Shhhhhh🤫🤫🤫 . #TheVoiceInsideMe #LifeAsASpinster #LifeAsACaregiver #HomelessInSingapore #LifeAsAMinoritySingaporean #LivingWithElderlyParents #LifeSucks #LifeGoesOn #NewNormal2020 #AgnosticismAsPartOfLife #LiberalAgnosticPeaceOfMind #LiberalAgnosticHappyGoLucky 

. My current life is not as chaotic as in the past..where I clubbed all weekends..meeting my closest friends almost every day after work..Nowadays my life is more simple..I prefer to stay indoor most of the times..I love the moments of silence..At workplace, I just come in early, do my work, stay up for an hour or two and go home by bus..The busride is where I reflects on what had happened on daily basis at workplace..in life..Nowadays I seldom 'take to heart' what bad things happened at workplace as I have learnt that workplace is where I earn the monies to travel, pay my shopping spree and great foods..Furthermore nowadays, I no longer care about others badmouthing me and ridicule me..Well, no one can understands my actions, reactions and me..so be it! . Eventhough Singapore has speedy train service but I still preferred the bus..as busride always calm me down further..I just enjoy the chance to be seated all the way home..indeed a lazy bum me..🤣🤣🤣..that's ...

. YESTERDAY..EVENING.. . I was screaming out loud when my dad told me to buy him Straits Times bcoz he wants to find a job..WHAT?! A JOB?! AT HIS AGE?! 🤦🤦🤦 . All those working years my dad did NOTHING great at his workplace..He was always taking MCs..He was not a co-operative team mate..He was inconsiderate and always reluctant to assist his co-worker..He bullied his colleagues often..All that NOT ENOUGH, is it?!😤😤😤 . Former colleagues complaining about all my dad's unacceptable actions to me and my mom..I just faced it with straight face..no smile..While my mom continue smiling and laughing just to hide her true emotion of sadness in public. How embarass it is to have strangers approaching us just to give negative comments about him. Doesn't he feel WHAT my mom and me feel?! . I just don't know why I am placed in this pathetic domestic situation..where I have to deal with my parents' issues..All thanks to GOD for giving me such a fate.. . This is NOT ...

. YESTERDAY.. . My mom was commenting,"No man wants to marry someone fat like you whose face is not even pretty to look at.."..🧐🧐🧐 . I responded,"You as a Muslim do believe that a mother's statement is also a prayer and that mother's prayer will always be answered by God..so do you really happy, satisfied and contented that your same prayers (like her comment) all these years are answered?..Indeed if your next reply to this comment of mine is "Prove me wrong by getting married", let me tell you that it is not happening..as I have decided to remain UNMARRIED until the day both my parents die or I, myself die..Anyway, all thanks to your prayers all these years..Don't worry as I no longer feel hurt by such comments about me being fat and ugly and no man wants to marry a fat and ugly person like me..I am NUMB as I am too used to you and both my sisters who have been criticising me since young..all bcoz I am not PETITE like all of you...

. Not easy to be me! . #LifeAsASpinster #NewNormal2020  #AgnosticismAsPartOfLife  #LiberalAgnosticPeaceOfMind  #LiberalAgnosticHappyGoLucky

. Someday I will have the money..enough spirit..to continue my Legal Studies again.. . As for now, I will just focus one thing at a time..find and get a new job..save up..then back to Law again.. . My childhood dream is to be a lawyer..but now I think a Legal Assistant or Legal Counsel would be enough.. . 🙏🙏🙏For the best in my life🙏🙏🙏 . #PilihanAnggunJelitawan  #NewNormal2020  #LegalStudiesToBeContinued #AgnosticismAsPartOfLife  #LiberalAgnosticPeaceOfMind  #LiberalAgnosticHappyGoLucky  #ToAccomplishChildhoodDream #SomedayIwillBeThere

. More info..More in depth.. . #WaitedForSoLong #WaitingForTheRightTime #BrandNewLifeAhead #ToRenounceIslam #NewNormal2020 #AgnosticismAsPartOfLife #LiberalAgnosticPeaceOfMind #LiberalAgnosticHappyGoLucky

. As it getting nearer..my 46th Birthday, here is all I want for my birthday this year..🎂🎁🎂🎁🎂🎁🎂 . (1) I want NO ONE to wish me "Happy Birthday"..🙄 . (2) I want NO ONE to give me best wishes..🤪 . (3) I want to be left ALL ALONE on my birthday..😁 . (4) If I have a job by 8 November 2020, I wish to get a Statutory Declaration to Renounced Islam..which thereafter I can proceed to delete my name from the list of Muslims in SG at MUIS..and thereafter I can start a new OFFICIAL life as a Non-Muslim..🙏🙏🙏 . To be a NON-MUSLIM will be the GREATEST birthday gift I can give myself this year as travel to overseas is out of the question still..if only the abovementioned come true! Lets pray for the best in my life..🙏🙏🙏 . (5) I just want to sleep all day..rest my mind..I am expecting great silence..relax the soul..I shall avoid communicating with my parents..But if I can't sleep, I shall just do some meditation, some yoga🧘🧘🧘..maybe go out window-shopping.....

. I woke up today with mixed feelings..not sure to smile or frown..all bcoz of the dream last night.. . LAST NIGHT'S DREAM... (In my dream)..I was in an office..not sure which office but it was a brand new office..I was introduced to the staff there whom I see OK-OK..I could not comment further as it seems like it was my first day at work.. . Then I heard someone asked out loud,"Who will assist Mr J today?" . Silence. No one saying anything.. . Out of the blues I heard a reply,"Why don't the new staff assist Mr J..?" . Then I heard a group of women giggling. I sighed in my heart and uttered,"Here we go again..Bunch of bullies!"😖😖😖 . "Will you be okey if on this first day you assist our Mr J..with the normal legal stuffs?", asked that someone who asked aloud earlier.🙄🙄🙄 . I smiled faintly and replied,"If that Mr J okey with me assisting him, I see no issue at my side!"..🤭🤭🤭 . Then came the Mr J.."Who is ...

. Pissed off again with my mother..non-stop saying there's no food for my father..when the dining table no longer have any much space to eat..due to too many foods on the dining table..WHAT MORE DOES SHE WANT?!😡😡😡 . I asked if there's a HIGH DEMAND for me to be angry at them both almost every single day..SERIOUSLY, I have had enough of this kinda craps!🖕🖕🖕 . I just don't know why GOD gave me this kinda parents to handle..since young my life was NOT that happy..right up until now at this dying age, my parents still making my life upside-down..What BIG sin I did to deserve this kinda fate? GOD, answer me, can?!😤😤😤 . I am NOT a saint.. Neither a devil nor angel.. I am just a human.. Born to make mistakes.. But don't deserve this kinda rotten fate!🧐🧐🧐 . #LifeAsACaregiver  #LifeAsASpinster  #HomelessInSingapore  #HomelessME  #IamNotRude_IamJustTooHonest #NewNormal2020 #MissedFlyingToOverseas #StressfulLivingSituationInSG  #StressfulDaysInUnemp...

. Indeed no one..not even my parents..ever thanks me for having the patience not to kill them..after all the stress they had caused in my life..😤😤😤 . A simple "THANK YOU" would be nice, folks!😁😁😁🙄🙄🙄 . Not a threat. Just a reminder!😝😝😝 . #LifeAsACaregiver #LifeAsASpinster #StressfulDaysInUnemployment #FeelingParentsAreSuchABurden #NewNormal2020 #StressfulLivingSituationInSG #AgnosticismAsPartOfLife  #LiberalAgnosticPeaceOfMind  #LiberalAgnosticHappyGoLucky

. In my case, GOD found the wrong woman..to deal with both my aging parents..bcoz I always EXPLODED each time they pissed me off with their annoying characters, behaviours, habits and attitudes..🤯🤯🤯🙄🙄🙄🤦🤦🤦 . #LifeAsASpinster #StressfulDaysInUnemployment #LifeAsACaregiver #GODmadeMistakeToo #NewNormal2020 #StressfulLivingSituationInSG #AgnosticismAsPartOfLife  #LiberalAgnosticPeaceOfMind  #LiberalAgnosticHappyGoLucky

. Based on living experience, DEPRESSION is for REAL..NOT another joke of the decade..NOT something to criticise or condemn..Someone having DEPRESSION is NOT another spoilt bratz..DEPRESSION is NOT to be taken lightly.. . DEPRESSION hits me on the day I breakup with that British fella..In view of strangers, I was just another DRAMA QUEEN plus SPOILT BRATZ who couldn't get over a breakup..🙄🙄🙄 . Firstly when I knew this British, my intention was like 'Fuuuuhhh! AT LAST there's someone with whom I can get married with'..all I need is a CLOSURE to all those people who NON-STOP asking me 'When are you getting married like all of us?'..NON-STOP criticising me as 'UNWANTED, REJECTED human being whom NO ONE can loves and marry with'.. . Then when breakup happened, I felt like soooo USELESS, HOPELESS, NOT GOOD ENOUGH, NOT WORTHY..blah..blah..blah..WORST when I saw those with DISABILITIES are seen happily married and with many chil...

. FITNAH..SLANDER..DEFAME..DEFAMATION..🤔 . An action which will tarnish others' reputation. . Often I bumped into this kinda situation online, offline, cyberspace, reality, at home, at office and in friendship. . All the times I wonder what they gained by slander or defame others. I noticed some just wanted to impress the SUPERIOR..be promoted eventhough did less work, more bootlicking..some just want to fit in the group..some I have asked - they simply can't stand others being happy..😳😳😳..WOW! I think the last one really made me think deeper..WHAT KIND OF HUMANS GOD HAS CREATED..CAN'T STAND OTHERS BEING HAPPY?! . *Walawey..biar betik?! Busuknya hati ko ehk?!*🙄 . I believe that being defamed or slandered by strangers are NOT as painful as being defamed or slandered by your own family. . FAMILY - related by blood can do such a thing to you..indeed it is MORE PAINFUL..I believe those who have gone thru' such domestic situation do agree with my statement. Those who ha...

. Once..yeeeeaaaars ago, a local MUA did expressed her views about people online EDITING picture of themselves too much that it varies when seen upfront. Many agreed with her..well, she's a MUA..but to me, I commented asking her to see in general..individually..how many of us were born DROP-DEAD GORGEOUS?! . All women are created beautifully by God but NOT many women were born DROP-DEAD GORGEOUS..that's why many are being bullied online as well as offline..Some people judge other people based on facial features..Some people treat other people based on wealth & beauty..That's the negative part of human nature.. . So, what is so wrong to edit your picture to look great just to make yourself happy..I edited my pictures & still when I am in public, people recognised me & approached me - "Seriously, you are REAL?! Wow!"..I always replied,"Yeah! I am REAL..really FAT!"..we ended laughing & I edited almost all my pictures..🤣🤣🤣 . So if editing...

. At 89.7 Supper Club Paya Lebar. . Last week I told him NOT TO CALL ME ANYMORE!😡😡😡..I was VERY ANGRY when he commented about my domestic issues..😤😤😤..I really DISLIKE my man to comment or advise or say anything..HE JUST NEED TO LISTEN and says,"Everything will be OK!"..that's all..that's it!😠😠😠.. . My man has NO rights to give opinions, advices and comments about anything in my life..I need a man, NOT personal consultant or personal counsellor or problem solver!🙄🙄🙄 . Then today he texted me..asking if I wanna go out..I just texted back "OK"..Then he called for confirmation..my reply was,"Which part of the word "OK" you do not understand?!"..He said softly,"OK..See you at 9.30pm then..I need to OT now!"..I just cut-off the line. My mom commented,"You should treat him nicer as he already changed alot for you!"..🙄🙄🙄 . So we dined out..I asked him,"You DARE to call me! Didn't I told you NOT ...

. Here is September, the Virgo month.. I have not many friends who are a Virgo..However from my observations of my Virgo friends, Virgo is strictly perfectionist, authoritative, respectful (& knows how to respect others too), goal achiever & mostly successful in life.. . To me, Virgo is a sign of prosperity, intellectual & success. So, lets pray🙏🙏🙏..May September 2020 be the beginning of another great prosperities & bundles of success moments to all humans..while all of us in the midst of CoVid-19..which is still NOT ending anytime soon.. . Stay positive.. Stay safe.. Stay healthy.. Stay happy.. May God bless all humans.. . #September2020isHere #PrayForTheBest  #AgnosticismAsPartOfLife #LiberalAgnosticPeaceOfMind #LiberalAgnosticHappyGoLucky #GodBlessAllHumans