I WILL BE OK

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Since young I tried my best NOT to be a BURDEN to my parents and family members..I never allow my teachers to 'summons' them for my misconduct at school..skipping classes & wearing eyeliner to school..I went to detention on my own accord..I faced my own punishment for wrongdoings without the involvement of my parents & family.
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Thru'out schooldays, I respected my teachers..I did not step on their wrong foot ever..I never raised my voice to any of my teachers..I still remember few incidents..when I decided to quit Architecture, a male teacher cried in front of me like he lost his only child..I did feel bad for him and told him that I will be ok doing something else and he shouldn't need to worry..His comment,"You are a bright student with great leadership..You will be successful someday.."..then when I bumped into my A-Level teacher & he got to know that my wedding was cancelled after I quit school just to prepare for it, he was sad but I told him that I was ok that the wedding was cancelled & will be ok living without a husband..His comment "I always knew you are a strong lady..Stay strong"..
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I do not want anyone feel that I am a BURDEN to them..When I reached the BIG FOUR ZERO, I made the most difficult and final decision in life..which is to stay UNMARRIED FOREVER..Suddenly my lil sister expressed her feelings that the fact I am a SPINSTER is a BURDEN to her and our family..People will badmouthed and look down on her and our family due to my decision..But I don't care..Why should I care about what others think and say when being unmarried is the BEST for me..I felt more sad when my mother shared the same feelings as my lil sister - I am a BURDEN to them for being unmarried..
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That's why I need my own place to stay..to live as who I am..I don't need to be a BURDEN to anyone just bcoz I chose NOT to be a normal human being like other women who got married just to reproduce! I am who I am..So now my only hope that I will get that HDB flat for real as I really want to live as who I am and stop feeling that I am NOT GOOD ENOUGH for anyone just bcoz I am a SPINSTER when the truth is that I am more at peace and happier being UNMARRIED..
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Not all human feel the same about my choice but who am I to force others to agree with me..My prayer is to have my own place, loving what I am doing in life, earn alot of money and once Covid ends, able to travel again..I thank God that I still have my beau to be my partner in crime..as I believe once he's gone, I really have to survive all ordeals all alone by myself..I know that I will be ok with and without him..Life goes on no matter how sucks it can be!
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~ Scribbled by a normal human being

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