NO! NOT ME..I AM NOT PERFECT!



Written on 1 November 2020.
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What others see me today is NOT what others saw me from childhood to teens to early adulthood..
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I was born as an AVERAGE human being..Beauty=Average..Brain=Average..Social skills=None..as back then I was a very shy girl..Nowadays, #LansungTakTauMaluMurni ..🤣🤣🤣Worst I have the darkest skin amongst my sisters..which my maternal community hardly can accept...😤😤😤
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Due to my AVERAGE, I was NEVER EVER looked up to..by anyone..until after few incidents happened..
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LIST OF INCIDENTS
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BAD
1) When I was 16, I was supposed to be left stranded on my own clueless at a mall by someone named Rohana, a former colleague from temporary factory job assignment..I did not do anything to her..but bcoz I was Pretty Ugly, she felt I shouldn't actually joined in the outing with my gorgeous god-sister, Kak Zu. Luckily my god-sister was kind enough not to follow this Rohana's plan..😔😔😔

2) At my lil sister's wedding, a Down Syndrome guy said out loud that I was TOO UGLY to make him at least look at me..what more make him like me! #AmIThatUgly ??? 😳😳😳

3) One of my Muslim (ex) boyfriends insulted me by mentioning that my pimply complexion (besides my fat body) made him embarrassed to stand next to me in public..

4) One of my Muslim (ex) boyfriends was always praising his ex..I was very furious as the reality of his ex DOES NOT rhyme with what he was praising about!🤬🤬🤬😡😡😡

5) My first utmost BETRAYAL when my Malay-Muslim fiance having affair with my lil god-sister..just bcoz she has fairest skin..6 months before the wedding..There I was in my room in tears looking at SKINNY 49kg self in the mirror..asking what the hell wrong..when I am fat, men criticised..when I am skinny, men betrayed..So I come to a conclusion that it is NOT your body size which will make men fall in love with you but how bad you want a man to want you..🤨🤨🤨

GOOD
1) Due to my AVERAGE looks, lack of self-esteem and self-presentation, I went to a grooming class at an office in Takashimaya..There I was taught to beautify myself..when comes to facial washing, I scrub my face damn hard bcoz I really hate my face back then..The beautician quickly stopped me saying that it can ruin the texture of my beautiful skin..I was like "Huh? My face is too ugly..what beautiful skin?"..Then she said,"There is NO ugly women in this world..ONLY lazy women!"..Bam!💥💥💥..I found my Guidance Angel..named Sri Hana..I become her model at the makeup session..🤣🤣🤣 #DamnProudKembangSemusim
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Returning from that beauty class, I told myself that I need to love myself by making myself beautiful..#SoVainPot
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I went to a library to find beauty books..then I found a book titled "Good girls go to heaven..Bad girls go..EVERYWHERE"..indeed motivated me..I want to go EVERYWHERE..😇😇😇
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Looking back now..I can sit back and smile wide..What a life journey indeed!
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I might not have continued my stewardess dreams..after SQ, I did not even attend that United Airlines walk-in interview..Plain lazy bum Murni..maybe just give up being one..🤭🤭🤭
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I might not have "Miss Universe" title..I might not be anyone's Mrs Wifey..but indeed I am going EVERYWHERE🤣🤣🤣..Before the virus attacked, I was always travelling..I worked hard, saved alot, booked flight and just left Singapore..Europe..Australia..Around Asia..I have travelled and I am so glad I did all that..✈️✈️✈️
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I might not be a proud married woman with children but I am proud with my collection (knowing) of men (some become my ex-boyfriends) from Asian heritage to English-Polish heritage to Italian-French heritage to American-Irish heritage..I have had fun alot! Thank you, guys!
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At present while still in Asia, I only have Harlem as the MAN..Murni's man..Yeah! He was a great jerk..a kind of asshole in the past but he changed after returning from Germany and found me with lots of suitors..🤣🤣🤣..Harlem can be such an annoying burger (bastard when I am angry with him) at times but what I like about him the best is that he is willing to change and lower his male ego just to treat me the way I demanded..I am the Big Boss in our relationship..that's the deal..I rule our relationship..He reports to me, not other way around..Indeed not many men willing to do that for me..that's why I am still with Harlem..eventhough there were times I felt like beating him hard or strangling him to death..Geraaam sey..Like he always told his friends "I am NOT afraid of my women. The issue is that my women NOT afraid of me!"..😂😂😂
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Overall, who says Murni are being loved and accepted by all humans? I have my own flaws and imperfections too..Some humans just hate me for no reason bcoz of what they see at a glance..not walk the journey with me and learn to know me..
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However, my mind concept nowadays is that NOT all humans can love me..NOT all humans hate me..What matters the most is that I love myself first eventhough at times I can be suicidal..To me - Heck care about what others feel and think about me..I don't need to know..If any humans love me, I thanked them always..If any humans hate me,..do I look like I care?! 🖕🖕🖕#AdaAkuKesah
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At the end of the day,...CONFIDENCE, HAPPY LAUGHTERS and SINCERE SMILES are the MOST SEXY and GORGEOUS suit all women should put on them..EVERYDAY! That's what I wore most of the times PLUS additional CRAZINESS! Puuuuurfecto Senorita Murni!🤪🤪🤪
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Happy November 2020..It is Scorpio Season, darling..And I am a Scorpio..Cheeeeerrrrzzz..🍾🍾🍾
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#LadyScorpioOnTheThrone
#HarleMurni
#SketsaAnggunJelitawan
#UglyDucklingBeautifulSwan
#HappyNovember2020
#ScorpioSeasonStarts

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