RENUNCIATION - PART 1
Many renounced religion due to hatred..Many commented negatively about their previous religious beliefs..That's what did happened in reality!
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I am NOT a saint..NOT an angel who has no flaws so, I do not qualify to pin-point what I felt aint right about Islam as I made my exit out of Islam..To me, this is what I really want since childhood.
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FROM CHILDHOOD
I was ordered to attend religious classes to learn to recite the Holy Muqaddam and Holy Koran since age 6. I obeyed the order without any retaliation. I was an obedient child. Well, who dares to go against my mother's orders, right? 🤣🤣🤣
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Even when we moved house, the religious lessons continued. At the new residence, frankly speaking, I became reluctant to attend this kinda classes. Nearly 2-3 years I was left without any religious lessons BUT almost everyday summons by my mother who non-stop nagging as my other siblings continued attending religious classes. I was labelled as someone having "rebellious growing up teens" syndrome in my household. After that period, I walked to religious classes to learn recite the Holy Koran and learn the prayers. While my other siblings started praying aka Solat, I was there staring at them. My mother could only sighed and asked "Don't you want to solat like them too?"..I kept quiet! I completed reciting the Holy Koran at age 17.
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I enjoyed life at the fullest after I graduated, started working and lost alot of bodyweight. I was happiest then eventhough it was tiring attending all kinda parties every weekends. I worked hard for the money to party around. It was the best moments in my life. Eventhough my mother was AGAIN non-stop nagging. Looking at the way I partied with many partners, I was even labelled as WHORE..TRAMP..by my mother. My father was just sighing at my lifestyle, standing besides my mother. I see nothing wrong with having happy hours..I did not drink alcohol..I did not smoke..I just dancing all night long..going for movies and dining out (sometimes from breakfast to lunch to dinner) with different men. I had MORE male friends than female friends. What can I say!
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As I entered age 25, I slowed my partying activities as I changed it to more flying activities.😂😂😂YES! I started travelling around Asia. As I entered 30s, I started exploring countries outside Asia..I quit partying! AGAIN my mother nagging as I always travelling around. Each time I travelled, my mother made sure I bring along a prayer mat! 🤦🤦🤦..I just kept quiet and sighed softly. Did I pray at overseas? Only when I want to.
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Since I started working on my first job, my mother has been prompting me to get married. At first it was annoying to me but I did tried to get married to any man JUST TO KEEP HER MOUTH SHUT! I gave myself until end of 39 years old before announcing my NO MARRIAGE choice in life. I never stop "hunting" for a potential future husband! Sometimes I laughed remembering how desperate I was to get married just to stop my mother's nag. Indeed NO LUCK in the marriage department!
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At the age 40, I declared my "retirement" from man-hunting! I could see my mother's disappointment clearly on her face. Well, since young I was told that if a Muslim chose to remain unmarried, s/he will not be considered as the Prophet's followers. That really scare the shit out of me! That's why I was man-hunting back then. However after entering the BIG four zero, I always replied to similar statement - "Ok then! I am not Prophet's follower by all means!"..What more can I say and do when GOD not granting my prayers and wish to have a marriage, husband and children. My mistake, is it? I did my part so, DON'T BLAME ME FOR BEING UNMARRIED!😠😠😠
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(To be continued)
