THE NON-ANGELIC LIFE

. As she being not appreciative..which I understand that actually (since I was younger she had said it out loud & clearly) she wanted my lil sister to care everything concerning her..not her other 5 children including me..So, no matter what been done for her, she will reacts ungrateful..BUT it is OK by me as I am more than happy to NOT care and concern about her..Just look from afar..🙄🙄🙄 . I am NOT filial..I am NOT kind..so now, one by one I am cancelling/terminating all the services..from the medical escort service to the eye surgery to physiotherapy and now, the rehabilitation session..I am granting her wish to live without all these services..So if next she refuses to eat her medications, I will grant that wish too..🤣🤣🤣 . Life goes on.. Think positive.. Live life at the fullest! May God bless all humans..Ameeen..🙏🙏🙏

. WA Message to my eldest sister . When I am NOT GOOD ENOUGH for her.. . Since young I was told that I will not be GOOD ENOUGH for anyone in this world..I will always be the slow and dumb one..I will NEVER be successful in life..That's why I was taught to do the housework i.e. cooking, washing, ironing, cleaning..and learn to recite the Holy Koran bcoz she said who knows there's a man who can looks at me based on my domestic skills & religious faith instead..as I will NEVER make any man proud based on my looks & my rotten luck! 😔😔😔 . However when I decided to be a rebellious 21yo adult..went on rendeavour, she was unhappy..When many men called me up for a date, she was unhappy..even called me "WHORE"..but did I care abt all that? No! I proved to her that there are men for me..NOT to show-off or boast..but just to prove her wrong..and again, she was unhappy.. . When SD stick to me since March 1992 until now..despite all odds, she was unhappy..She...

. Dreamt about him AGAIN..out of the blues..I still don't know why I dreamt about him when his name did not even cross my mind earlier.. . This time I dreamt about him - he coaxed me by saying,"Everything will be alright! I am here"...aaaaah..so peaceful indeed..I felt so safe.. . In reality, the last time I felt safe in a man's arm was when I was with Xavier in Paris, France.. .

Many renounced religion due to hatred..Many commented negatively about their previous religious beliefs..That's what did happened in reality! . I am NOT a saint..NOT an angel who has no flaws so, I do not qualify to pin-point what I felt aint right about Islam as I made my exit out of Islam..To me, this is what I really want since childhood. . FROM CHILDHOOD I was ordered to attend religious classes to learn to recite the Holy Muqaddam and Holy Koran since age 6. I obeyed the order without any retaliation. I was an obedient child. Well, who dares to go against my mother's orders, right? 🤣🤣🤣 . Even when we moved house, the religious lessons continued. At the new residence, frankly speaking, I became reluctant to attend this kinda classes. Nearly 2-3 years I was left without any religious lessons BUT almost everyday summons by my mother who non-stop nagging as my other siblings continued attending religious classes. I was labelled as someone having "rebellious growing up ...

Started the first day - yesterday with a long-winded busride journey..but I enjoyed the peace..It seems like being years not going on a long busride. . I reached the workplace early..Was told by the security about few people who are joining the jobplacement too. Mingled around before heading to the meeting room for short briefing. . This is my first time doing temporary assignment again after my last temp job was in 1997 at Income Tax Authority.. . Why I grabbed this temp job? Firstly it is only 3 months' contract..ended on 31 December 2020..So, I am just glad it is a short assignment! Secondly, I was really frustrated at home being unemployed..I felt being looked down by my family..plus both my parents situation really frustrated me to the MAX! I just HATE continuous arguments..continuous screaming at my parents for I found them as such a nuisance during my unemployment..I confessed I am NOT a good child..but I am NOT proud what I did to them. So the only way out is to find a job ...