SIGHING..

No one can understand what I am going thru'..not until they going thru' similar situation as mine.

People would always labelled someone like me as ungrateful each time I was asked to share my problem in life..which if no one asking, I would not disclose..My problem in life is concerning my father..as years gone by, I found myself hating his attitudes and ego alot..Always thinking about himself..self-centered old fella who acts really despiced me. Now and then when I have had enough of him, I would cursed him,"You are USELESS..WORTHLESS kind of human being. You are better off being dead rather than live just to burden me..I have never hate any men - not even my exes like how I hate you..How I wish you are not my father! Your existence on earth pissed me off!"..

Yes! I sounded mean..but that's my TRUE feelings and thoughts of a man known as my biological father. I cannot deny these feelings. I cannot lie about it..I dislike pretending to love someone when the truth is - sometimes how I wish I can stab him to death.

Yes! Whenever I expressed the truth, people judged me..labelled as rude, spoilt bratz, insolent, ungrateful, unthankful and not worthy kinda daughter..whereas NO ONE knows what I feel going thru' days of my life living together with someone like my father..not until people go thru' the same living situation with the same kind of human being..

Sometimes I felt it is better if I am the one of commit suicide and die..rather than continue living facing this kind of ordeal. It is a life beyond common sadness, sorrows, miseries and sufferings.

Most of the times I asked myself,"What have I done in the past to deserve this kind of horrible living situation? Did I ever got pregnant and aborted it? Did I killed someone just for his wealth? What so huge sins I have accumulated that I am been punished in this manner? WHAT? WHY?"..

It just feel so sad about my living situation with the existence of my father. Now I intend to move out of the house just to be on my own..stay far away from both my parents..I have had enough of all these sufferings!

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